The Book Fairy left this in my mailbox so, not being one to monkey with fate, I read it.
What a book. I loved it and it gave me the willies. I laughed out loud and I choked up. Yes, I know, “ I laughed, I cried”. I love a cliché (… and a parade – but I digress.)
I almost put it down and churlishly walked away after one risqué bit, but am glad I did not, and will explain later…
“You’re Not You” is the story of a 20-some-odd college student, Bec, who is a bit lost. She doesn’t love school, she doesn’t love her boyfriend. In fact, she really doesn’t love herself enough to rectify either situation.Bec just goes through the physical motions without thought for the spiritual side of life.
I don’t mean God; she tries church and it doesn’t fulfill her. “Lent came, the season for sacrifice, and I gave up church.” She is trying to fill the void and find the inner sense of verve you achieve by doing something inspiring and worthwhile.
Bec decides she has had enough of waitressing and becomes the care-giver to Kate. Kate is a 30ish, vivacious woman who is also trapped. Bec is trapped in her mind, while Kate is trapped in her rapidly deteriorating ALS-ridden body.
The literal paralysis that Kate faces is a transformative sounding board for Bec. Both women have trials to face and they become close.
Bec watches Kate and learns from her. She does her make-up. She dresses her. She develops an eye through Kate for style and decor and above all, cooking.
Bec finds dormant passions in herself that start to leak out. As Kate deteriorates, Bec blossoms.
It is more tentative and elastic than just its chrysalis dynamic. The emergence from the proverbial cocoon is an obvious parallel for both Kate and Bec. Kate faces betrayals and developments too. We are more involved with Bec as the protagonist, but Kate is unquestionably a force.
In fact, it is occasionally laugh-out-loud funny to be with Kate and Bec when they let their hair down. Neither is timid and the honesty is buoyant. The joy they feel when cooking together is enthralling. The exuberance of market day and the dinners they share are tangible in their release of sadness. One scene, in which they share buttered toast and fight over who is going to go make it, is a riot.
The progression of the story is such that the early unfamiliarity of the characters in compromising situations breeds an awkwardness that mostly disappears by the end. When we see Bec having sex in the beginning of the book, it made me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy reading about anyone’s demoralization and wanted to put the book away.
Consequently, it was a pleasure to see Bec’s self-confidence, and, by extension, self- respectfullness, grow. As she spends more and more time with Kate (and Evan – the idiot), she spends more time in her own head and certain masochistic tendencies are squelched. She takes better care of Kate and of herself.
As Kate falls into rapid decline, it is hard to read. It was too close to home for me having been with my mother as she died, but it is well-written and almost transcending in its brutal lucidity. It changes everything.
I hoped there was going to be this change and was relieved. Horrified, but relieved. By the end of, “You’re Not You,” Bec has found her spiritual side. She has found something worth fighting for … a reason for working hard and succeeding. A Coup de Foudre and voilá – contentment.Editor’s Note: Email Jen with suggestions for future reviews at [email protected]